


Moderation

by combustible_lemons



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Amethyst and Steven are like siblings, Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Underage Drinking, Vomiting, Whump, not a shipping fic, takes place just before Little Graduation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23238139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/combustible_lemons/pseuds/combustible_lemons
Summary: Amethyst is worried about Steven being so stressed out lately, so she drags him away from his work to have some fun for once.Her plan backfires.
Relationships: Amethyst & Steven Universe
Comments: 18
Kudos: 155
Collections: Steven Universe Completed Recommended Reads





	Moderation

Steven tapped his hand anxiously on the kitchen table, staring at his laptop screen with a furrowed brow. He’d been trying to work out the calendar for Little Homeschool for the past hour and still hadn’t figured a way to fit in all the Earth history classes with the soccer tournament they had planned next week. Initially, he thought it would be a good outlet for more active gems to blow off some steam, but it was seriously eating into the regular schedule. Maybe he should just shift everything forward? But he’d lost time because of the snow days so he was already pushing it in order for graduation to stay on track.

Crap, why did this have to be so _difficult?_ It shouldn’t have to be this difficult to make a stupid schedule work. Steven’s eyes started to sting from staring for too long, so he put his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

He took a deep breath. It was gonna be okay. He could figure this out. All he needed to do was think it through, look at it from a different angle.

Steven heard the fridge open and some rummaging noises. He looked over and saw Amethyst loading her arms up with leftovers and cans of soda, humming to herself.

“Hey, Amethyst? Don’t eat my chili please. I was saving it for later,” he said, trying not to sound annoyed.

“What?” She looked down at the tupperware that Steven had clearly labeled with a sticky note as his. “Oh, sorry man. Didn’t see that.” She put it back on the shelf and kicked the door shut.

Normally, Steven didn’t care when Amethyst ate his food because she usually got him more, but since he’d started meal-prepping he didn’t want his work going to waste. Also, he didn’t exactly trust her yet to make sure all the stuff she brought him was vegetarian. He knew how forgetful she could be. Whatever, hopefully she’d catch on. Preferably sooner than later.

After stuffing her face, she cracked open a soda and walked over to Steven.

“Whatcha working on?”

Steven sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Just trying to figure out the schedule for Little Homeschool.”

“Still?” She sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Dude, you’ve been staring at your computer for like, the whole afternoon. You need to take a break.”

“I can’t, Amethyst. I need to do this before Monday or else everything’s gonna be a mess.”

“But it’s Friday night! Don’t you have anything _fun_ planned for once?”

He shot her a look.

“Oh c’mon, don’t give me that,” she said. “I know that stuff’s important but you have the whole weekend to figure it out!”

He took a deep breath. “No I don’t, because then I won’t have time to run my other errands.”

“Ugh, lemme see it,” Amethyst groaned, yanking the laptop away and ignoring Steven’s annoyed protests. She scanned her eyes over it for a few seconds and made a few clicks on the trackpad, handing it back to him. “Okay, there. Done.”

Steven’s eyes scanned back and forth, looking at what she did. He scoffed. “Amethyst, you can’t just make the days longer! Everyone’s gonna be mad!”

Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Steven, they won’t care. It’s gonna be a weird week anyway with the soccer tournament. No one’s gonna mind staying an extra few hours.”

“But—“

“Nope.” Amethyst shut the laptop closed before Steven could mess with it again. “You’re done. We’re gonna go do something fun now.”

Steven ran a hand down his face, groaning.

“C’mon, let’s go bowling. I’ve been wanting to try out that new place in town but I need a _bowling buddy_ ,” she said, her voice going sing-song at the end and nudging Steven with her elbow.

Steven clenched his jaw. But, if he thought about it, maybe Amethyst was right. He _was_ going a bit stir-crazy sitting by himself all day, so going out might be a nice change of pace.

“Alright, fine,” he conceded. Then he paused, letting himself crack a smile. “But I’m gonna kick your butt.”

Amethyst grinned. “Oh, ho ho, I see how it is! You’re going DOWN little man.” She slung her arm around his shoulder and dragged him toward the door.

“Wait, wait! Let me get my shoes first!” he said, laughing as he wriggled his way out of her grip.

~~~~~

Bowling, Steven had to admit, was pretty fun. They played a few games, neck-and-neck in scores basically the entire time until Amethyst cheated by turning herself into a ball and flinging herself at the pins for a perfect strike in the last round. They were lucky they didn’t get kicked out with all the noise they made, but it was a good night. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d hung out with Amethyst one-on-one like this.

As they were walking down the boardwalk, Amethyst suddenly gasped and turned to Steven.

“Oh my god. You know what we should do?”

Steven laughed nervously. He knew that tone of voice well. It meant she was planning some kinda mischief.

“What?” he asked.

“We should get you a drink.”

“Well,” he hesitated. “I already had like, three sodas at the bowling alley. And that’s already way too much sugar than I should have in one day.”

Amethyst groaned. “No, no, not _that_ kind of drink! Like alcohol. Like… a beer, or a mojito or something. You can have that stuff now, right?”

Steven huffed through his nose. “Amethyst, I’m seventeen.”

“So?”

“So I can’t drink for another four years.”

“Uh, says who?”

“Says the government.”

Amethyst groaned again. “Oh, come on! Aren’t there places on Earth where you can do it way earlier than that? I haven’t had a drink in like, forever.” She thought for a second. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve had a drink since Vidalia and I were hanging out on the regular. Steven, you gotta try something with me.”

Steven ran a hand down his face. “Amethyst, I could get in trouble.” 

“Pfft. What am I, a cop?” She snorted and laughed. “You’re not gonna get in trouble, Steven. It’s just a little fun! I promise.”

“I don’t know…“ He trailed off. It was quiet for a moment.

“Steven, can I be real with you?” she said with a sigh, her voice sounding more serious all of a sudden. “You’ve been really stressed out the past couple months. You worked hard, so now you deserve to have a nice night off! Let’s just pick up something from the store, go home, and then we can relax and watch a movie or whatever. Super low-key. Maybe you can turn your brain off for once. What do you say?”

He paused. Amethyst actually sounded worried. It was… bittersweet. Having someone care about him was nice, but he couldn’t help feeling a little guilty that she was worrying about him like this in the first place.

Geez, maybe he did really need to lighten up.

Finally, he conceded. “That sounds… alright, I guess.”

Amethyst squealed happily and gave him a big, crushing hug, turning them toward the corner store and chatting away about some crazy party she had with Vidalia years ago.

After picking up a bunch of drinks and snacks at the corner store, they made their way back toward the temple, bottles and cans clinking in their bags. Steven was surprised the cashier hadn’t bothered carding Amethyst, but then he realized she’d probably been living in Beach City since way before he was born so… Yeah.

Thinking about that kind of stuff was always weird. People in town _knew_ the gems were old, in a vague kind of sense, but no one ever really addressed it. Well, to him, at least. Maybe one day Steven would get old enough to become the kind of urban legend that Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were. Now _that_ felt especially weird thinking about.

They got back to the temple and started unpacking the bags onto the living room table. Amethyst clicked her tongue, staring at the label of a beer can.

“Okay, so I _think_ that everything I got is vegetarian, but… I don’t know dude, I haven’t bought this stuff in a while. We should probably double check the ingredients because I _definitely_ didn’t at the store.” She furrowed her brow, squinting harder like she was trying to glare it into submission.

Steven smiled. “Thanks, Amethyst. I appreciate it.” He felt stupid for thinking that stuff about her earlier.

She grinned at him, then went back to scanning a different label.

“Here, try this! Vidalia used to really like them.” Amethyst handed him the can and he glanced over it, hesitating. “I’ll have one with you. Cheers!” she said, taking another one and cracking it open. After a moment, Steven followed her lead, opening his own and clinking their cans together. He took a careful sip while Amethyst chugged hers in one go, letting out a long burp once she reached the end of it.

Steven took another drink and smacked his lips together, trying to figure out the taste.

“So, what do you think?” Amethyst asked.

“It’s weird but… in a good way? Kinda fruity?”

“Right!? I thought you’d like it!” she squealed.

Steven let out a little smile and took a couple more sips. It really was kind of nice tasting. It was nice hanging out with Amethyst again, too. He missed this more than he realized.

“Hey, Amethyst?”

She cracked open another drink. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for this. I’m… sorry I’ve been so…” He trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence without sounding stupid.

She groaned. “Steven, geez, don’t apologize! It’s cool. Really.” She clinked her new can against his.

After a moment, she spoke again. “Hey, what movie do you wanna watch?”

“I dunno. Maybe something that doesn’t require any deep thinking.”

“Hah, nice plan. Hold on a sec,” she said, sifting through Steven’s giant VHS pile stacked up at the bottom of the TV stand.

Amethyst finally pulled out an oldie, but a goodie.

“Lonely Blade part seven? The weirdest of the Lonely Blades?!” she asked.

“Yes, sounds perfect,” he agreed, laughing.

With that, she pushed the tape into the player and they sat back to enjoy the excessive hi-jinks of Lonely Blade facing off against a team of rogue samurai that were also part robot. It was all very nostalgic.

As the movie went on, though, Steven found it harder and harder to pay attention. The newness of the bowling alley had distracted him from his own thoughts enough earlier, but now that he wasn’t actively talking, he kept feeling weirdly anxious and awkward. Amethyst would gasp at some of the crazy fight scenes or giggle at parts that were overly dramatic or unintentionally funny, but Steven was sort of forcing himself to emote along with her. It was like his brain just wasn’t up for it. Like something else was creeping over his head, not letting him relax.

He wished he could trick himself into being happy, at least for tonight.

Steven kept drinking from his can of beer to distract himself until eventually, he finished it and reached for another one. He wasn’t nearly keeping up with Amethyst though, who had already gone through five cans of the stuff and was on her sixth.

“Amethyst?” Steven asked. The movie was quieter as the protagonist went through a dramatic training montage.

“Wuzzup?”

“Does alcohol even, like… affect gems?”

She snorted. “Uh, yeah? I mean, probably not as much as humans, but I’m feeling kinda buzzed right now at least.”

“So… what does that mean for me?”

Amethyst shrugged, giving him that three-toned “I dunno” noise. He’d seen enough TV to know what a drunk person was supposed to look like, but Amethyst seemed pretty normal even though her speech was slightly slurred on some words. He’d only seen his dad drink a few times, and only if other people offered him something first at a party or whatever. Drinking wasn’t something he really thought about before now, wasn’t anything even on his radar.

Steven stared down at his can, watching a few bubbles rise to the surface through the tiny hole. Alcohol was a depressant, right? He didn’t feel any different right now, but he wondered how much it would take him to get drunk like a normal human. Amethyst had suggested that he turn his brain off earlier, so maybe he should take her advice.

He tilted his head back and shut his eyes as he chugged the rest of the can all at once, earning a surprised, “woah, dude!” from Amethyst. When he finished, an unexpectedly noisy burp forced its way out of him and Amethyst smacked him on the back encouragingly, giggling.

“Alright Ste-man!”

“Yikes, that was loud,” Steven said, embarrassed.

Amethyst took a few chugs of her own drink and loudly talk-burped in response, “N-UHRP-oo pr-AHRRP-blem!”

That got them both into a long laughing fit, Amethyst leaning against him affectionately and smacking the floor with her palm as they both snorted and giggled. With it, the weird anxiety he’d been feeling ever since they sat down went away for a little while.

The movie continued to play as their laughter eventually tapered off and they started paying attention again. Lonely Blade was having an epic duel, his double samurai sword glinting in the sun. It was pretty entertaining, he had to give it that. For all the campy-ness, there were genuine good moments in this franchise.

Once the credits started rolling after the big climax, Amethyst got up sort of clumsily and switched out the VHS tape with the next movie in the series, this one with Lonely Blade in the wild west for some reason. She sat back down, but it was more of a dramatic flop this time. Yup, she was definitely losing her balance. Steven had managed to chug down two more drinks in the meantime, though not quite as fast as before, but Amethyst was definitely drunk by now.

“Here we go, movie number two baby!” Amethyst said once she got herself settled, whooping as the title screen appeared and snarfing down a handful of chips.

Slowly, as the night went on, Steven noticed that laughing along with Amethyst was getting easier and easier for some reason. They chatted over the movie during the slow parts and cheered during the fight scenes, knocking back a few more drinks and bags of junk food. Whatever cloud of anxiety that had been hanging over his head was pushed aside, and he felt like he was having fun again.

Halfway through another Lonely Blade adventure, Amethyst had fallen asleep. He didn’t blame her, considering it was pretty late and she was definitely, extremely drunk. Steven… well, Steven thought he must be drunk by now too. His vision was slightly blurred. His breath was slow, his fingers felt weirdly numb, and he was hyper-aware of his heart beating in his chest.

But what was the most bizarre was this feeling of… euphoria. He couldn’t think of another way to describe it. Just a comforting, hazy, pleasant sense of happiness permeating through his body, and it felt really, really nice. So nice that it kind of scared him a little bit. The sensation was completely foreign.

Was this sort of how he used to feel when he was a kid, back before he started living with the gems? It was so long ago now that he honestly didn’t remember, and that scared him even more. He didn’t remember what it felt like to be unconditionally happy. Sure, he’d felt happy in the _moment_ plenty of times in recent memory. But when everyone leaves and the moment is gone? When he’s alone, with his own thoughts cycling through his head nonstop? He’s not happy then. Not really. He’s either sad, or angry, or just… lost. Those feelings were much more familiar. ‘Happy’ was something distant, something fleeting whenever it did come.

Now that he was feeling happy for the first time in a long while, he didn’t want it to end. He wanted to hang onto it for as long as possible, because who the hell knew how he was going to feel tomorrow? What other weird hangups about his mom, or the Diamonds, or Homeworld, or whatever else would decide to show up again to ruin his day? All he wanted to do was have a normal life, but by now he’d sort of realized that his human half was going to be dealing with all the crap from his gem half forever. It sucked. He hadn’t asked for any of this. He couldn’t help being born who he was, or all the legacy and heavy, overwhelming _baggage_ that came with it. But there was always that little part of him that blamed himself, like he should know better by now how to deal with everything.

Ugh, great, now he was caught up in a stupid thought spiral again. He smacked himself on the forehead. Could he bring back those happy feelings from a couple minutes ago again, please? Could he _not_ think about the past for once in his damn life? He looked over at Amethyst, snoring gently, and he felt stupid that he was like this. He was trying to “turn his brain off” like she suggested but… well, obviously it hadn’t lasted for that long. The movie wasn’t over yet, so he decided to have another drink. And another. It was definitely too much now, but he didn’t care. Some time passed, the movie blaring on the screen in front of him, but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. His vision began to swim, the room spinning whenever he closed his eyes for too long.

Suddenly, Steven felt a telltale lurch in his stomach. Oh, god. Shit shit _shit_ he was gonna throw up. _No!_ His eyes widened, frantically searching the room for the trash bin because _god forbid_ he had to hear from Pearl later how he’d made a mess of everything. He tried holding it back, covering his mouth with one hand as he scrambled up from the floor and ran, barely making it in time to the trash bin before bile forced its way up his throat. He retched and retched, his eyes squeezed shut as his stomach emptied. The smell was horrible. Once he hit a lull, he spit several times to try to rid his mouth of that awful sour taste, only for another wave to hit him even more forcefully.

Steven hunched helplessly over the trash bin, feeling disgusted with himself, wishing he could just die or disappear or _something_ to make it all stop. He heard a high-pitched screech, the thin metal bending helplessly under the force of his clutched fingers. When he dared to open his eyes again, of course his skin was glowing that increasingly familiar blinding pink.

God, he hated himself for being so _stupid_. This is what he got for trying to keep himself happy past its due. A weak sob escaped him right before another wave of nausea came, forcing him to retch again.

To his horror, that was right when Amethyst stirred from her spot on the floor several feet away. As soon as she saw him, she sat up suddenly and gasped.

“What the—? Holy _shit_ , Steven are you okay?!”

Steven felt his soul leave his body from embarrassment, but he couldn’t possibly move right now. He sobbed again, fat tears dripping down his face, his body shaking as he gripped the trash can tighter and dry-heaved, the groan of warping metal echoing in his ears again.

Amethyst rushed over to him and laid a gentle hand on his back, trying to soothe him. Another retch, and Amethyst murmured “ _oh man…_ ” under her breath. She stayed with him for what felt like an eternity until finally, his stomach had no more left to give and Steven spat in disgust of the leftover taste in his mouth. She lifted him to his feet and wordlessly guided him to the bathroom. Steven felt absolutely pitiful, but he accepted her help because what other choice did he have? His vision was still swimming and he couldn’t walk straight anyway.

He cleaned out his mouth several times over and washed his face, all the while desperately trying not to cry and failing miserably, wretched sobs working their way out of his chest at random. Amethyst must have gone and dumped his puke in the ocean, because he saw her go outside and come back again before she helped him back upstairs.

It was awkward as all hell. He knew Amethyst was just sitting there judging him, _pitying_ him as he crawled under the covers of his bed. Apparently, even she didn’t know what to say right now, which must have been as weird for her as it was for him. God, he was such an _idiot_. He shouldn’t have let himself be so careless. The room still spun a little when he closed his eyes, but it wasn’t as bad as before. Thank god. He’d answered his own questions about alcohol’s effects on gem-human hybrids, at least. He held back a bitter laugh.

Breaking the tense silence, Amethyst finally blurted “I’m so, so sorry, Steven. I should have kept a closer eye on you.” Her voice was heavy with guilt. What? Why did she think that?

“It’s not your fault,” Steven murmured, unable to look her in the eye. He didn’t want to get into this right now, but it was too late. He’d already made a fool of himself and she’d seen all of it. There was no hiding from this.

Surprisingly, she insisted “No, it _is_ my fault,” pulling him in for a tight hug. “I’m the one who pushed you to drink. It was your first time and I should have been looking out for you.”

 _So mature now._ As much as he hated feeling pitied, Steven couldn’t help but lean his weight into her, bowing his head over her shoulder. She always gave the best hugs.

“I was being stupid. I should have stopped but I didn’t,” he said flatly.

Amethyst took a deep breath and pulled back, holding him by the shoulders and searching his eyes. She seemed to understand that there would be no convincing him, and he saw resolve settle in her gaze. With a soft half-smile, she moved her hands up and gently held his face for a brief moment before hugging him again. “Try to get some sleep, okay?” 

“Okay.” Steven felt his eyes prick with tears again, emotion swelling over him. Amethyst really did care about him, huh.

She turned and started walking towards the stairs. As he watched her leave, a cold, overwhelming feeling of tension settled over him. As much as he hated himself right now, he suddenly realized… he didn’t want to be alone. He was so, _so_ tired of watching people walk away from him.

“W-wait, Amethyst?” Steven asked, cringing at the fear slipping into his voice.

She stopped and faced him again. “Yeah?”

“Will… will you stay with me until I fall asleep? Please?”

Amethyst gave another sad smile. She sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over to squeeze his hand.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’ll stay.”

~~~~~

END

**Author's Note:**

> SUF is such a weird emotional catharsis for me. It's refreshing seeing a character's trauma being directly addressed and I hope Steven gets the help he needs before the show's over. But... it also got me thinking about some of the unhealthy coping mechanisms people turn to when they're struggling with their mental health and then this fic happened.
> 
> Comments/concrits much appreciated! Also get Steven some therapy please ;_; thanks
> 
> ***POST-FINALE EDIT: HE GOT THERAPY Y'ALL!!! THANK GOD***


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